How to unlock your inner confidence
Ugh, aren’t women amazing? Strong, powerful, resilient. You’re probably picturing someone you know right now; she’s confident, she’s unflappable, she empowers others. Unfortunately some days it can be pretty hard to feel that way ourselves, and confidence doesn’t just happen automatically. So how can we learn to unleash our inner confidence and spread it around like that juice your toddler just knocked over?
To find out, we checked in with Esther Boyd, founder of The Love Archives. As a photographer who specialises in weddings, bump shoots and family portraits, Esther is no stranger to mamas searching for their inner confidence.
“Clients approach me wanting photos because they know they’ll want the memories, but they’re often terrified about being in front of the camera,” says Esther.
Common concerns? All the usual. Mum tums, cellulite, crows feet, just not knowing what to wear.
“I tell them that everyone feels the same. We have a fear of being judged out of our comfort zones, and we tend to forget that almost everyone is as scared as we are.”
Esther describes confidence as the result of stepping outside your comfort zone and realising you can handle anything. The more you step out, the more confident you become. Sounds amazing, right?
We’re not saying you need to book in for skydiving right away, but maybe throw on that colourful blouse for the shops next time, the one you love but never wear because you’re worried you can’t quite pull it off. The more you step out of that zone, the more you’ll realise just how capable you are.
“It’s easy to forget, but remind yourself that the only person judging you is you! If you can stop that negative self-talk and replace it with something you’re grateful for, the confidence will come in no time,” Esther says.
She’s right! We tend to be so self-critical, without realising we’d never speak to someone else the way we speak to ourselves. No matter what social media may tell you, nobody has the perfect life. It turns out, confident women are just able to accept themselves for who they are, flaws and all.
“You’ll grow your confidence by truly recognising that your impact on the world is more important than the cellulite on your butt.”
“Confident people draw others in because they’re calm in the knowledge that they’re in control of how they handle any situation, good, bad, hard or easy, '' says Esther.
“As a mum myself, I’ve found that my confidence is passed down to my son. He’s 13 now, and is just an impenetrable force of love and light and growth. I definitely believe doing the work on yourself, for yourself, benefits your whole household.”
It might not come all at once, and working on unlocking your inner confidence is more of an ongoing journey than an overnight thing. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge your strengths, embrace your flaws.
“Confidence comes from within. Really let those words sink in. You are in control. You’ve got this mama.”
