Comparison… have you been there mama?
Who am I kidding, we all have!
Research shows that more than 10% of our daily thoughts involve making a comparison…. But why? Why do we not see the hard truth that is ….
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt
Parenting is one of the most challenging transitions an adult goes through in life, from woman to mother, man to father. It's rewarding, joy-filled and heart-explodingly beautiful one moment, then relentless, challenging, emotionally draining and physically exhausting the next.
So why do we add to our struggles further, by letting comparison and judgement steal even more of our joy?
Now obviously it’s oh-so-easy to get sucked into the social media blackhole that is seeing everyones ‘highlight reels’ and thinking they’ve got their shiz together… but I think we’re slowly starting to understand that maybe that’s not a fair comparison. Maybe Instagram photos aren’t the most accurate depiction of someone's whole life… We’re finally pulling ourselves up on seeing others at their best (or what we perceive of them anyway) and contrasting that with where we feel we’re at. It's a work-in-progress but a small move in the right direction!
But what about, comparing ourselves to … ourselves?!
... our pre-baby body with our post-baby body
... our pre-baby lifestyle with our post-baby lifestyle
... our pre-baby relationships with our post-baby relationships
... our pre-baby sex life with our post-baby sex life
You get my drift.
Comparing our current season of life, as wildly different as it may be, to our pre-kids life/body/self? It's swiftly stealing the joy from our right now. Our present moment. Our memory-making, baby-will-never-be-this-tiny-again moment.
Not to mention, this will never be a fair comparison.
“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” - Jon Accuf
We’ve had years of experiences, mistakes and learnings as a woman and still feel lost at times, right? So how can we compare that to this brand new title? This is the beginning of motherhood, or maybe the beginning of mothering your newest tiny human, either way there can be no comparison for a journey this unique.
Mama, you've transitioned from woman to mother. And during this journey, you have added so many beautifully complex layers to your being. You've grown. Blossomed.
And now? It's time to let go of the comparison.
Life is crazy enough without making yourself feel guilty over fitting into an old pair of jeans. I’m sure you didn’t shame yourself for growing out of clothes when you were pregnant. You may have been growing a tiny human then, but guess what, you’re still growing them now, outer-world….. And I think all of us mamas can attest to that being a heck of a lot harder!
Our body may look different these days, so might our relationship, our sleep (or lack thereof), or our lifestyle, but it comes with a heart more full and a love like no other.
It’s our evolution and it's extraordinary.
Pre-kids you is still you! Only now, you've evolved into a beautiful new motherhood version of you.
And YOU are pure magic!